Being the “Other”: The Struggles and Strengths of an Ethnic Minority Counsellor

"But despite the doubts and barriers, I remind myself that being other is not just a struggle—it is also a strength. It shapes the way I listen, the way I understand, the way I hold space for people who may not feel like they fully belong. "

Starting my private counselling practice has been nerve-racking. I imagine this feeling is common for anyone embarking on a new career path or business venture. Will I succeed? What if I fail? Will people think the service I offer is good? Like many others, I experience these self-doubts, but I quickly became aware of something deeper—an anxiety that may not be shared by everyone but is common among those establishing their careers in a cultural environment different from their own: the anxiety of being other in a different culture.

This anxiety became especially loud when I uploaded my photo to counselling directories like Psychology Today and Counselling Directory. I realized how different I looked from most of the other counsellors on the list. I was reminded of how much marketing courses emphasize the importance of a professional photo, explaining that many people choose which counsellor’s profile to click on based on their picture. People often look at photos and select a counsellor they can imagine relating to and working with.

I looked at my own photo again and wondered what people would see. Although it looks professional and friendly enough, the most obvious message in the image is that I am Asian. I am the other. How many people will take the time to read about my training, professional experience, and working style after seeing my photo? In her article A Guide to Being Black, published in The Good Immigrant, Varaidzo wrote, “The world saw blackness in me before it saw anything else and operated around me with blackness in mind.” (2016, p. 28) I relate to this deeply. It feels like my photo allows people to see my ethnicity before I even get a chance to introduce my skills and abilities as a counsellor.

The fear of my abilities not being recognised leads to deeper self-doubt. Even with 11 years of studying psychology and counselling and 12 years of experience as a counsellor, I still feel the pressure to prove myself. I wonder if I should study more, obtain more qualifications—do whatever it takes to convince people that I am a good counsellor, regardless of my ethnicity or cultural background.

Many people from different cultural backgrounds have expressed similar anxieties in other contexts. In Therapy Today (February 2025), the BACP explored the challenges trainee counsellors face, including how those from minority backgrounds often feel that their abilities are judged based on their name or appearance. Friends of mine have also spoken about feeling the need to work twice as hard to achieve positions that come more easily to their local counterparts. As Nikesh Shukla wrote in The Good Immigrant (2016, p. 16), “This constant anxiety we feel as people of colour to justify our space, to show that we have earned our place at the table, continues to hound us.” Being the other in a culture means we need to be exceptional—only then might people see us beyond our accents and appearance and recognise our abilities.

One way I navigate these feelings is by speaking with my supervisor, who, while not local, understands the experience of being other in a different culture. She offered a perspective I hadn’t considered: some people are specifically looking for a counsellor who is different from them. They might worry that someone from their own cultural or social group could bring shared assumptions into the room, making it harder to open up.

Reflecting on this, I’ve also come to see how being other allows me to notice different things, ask different questions, and bring a unique perspective into my work. Clients who feel like outsiders in their own experiences may find it easier to connect with a therapist who understands what it means to stand at the margins of the dominant culture.

That doesn’t erase the very real challenges of racism or the struggles that come with being part of a minority group. It’s important to have confidence in our own abilities, but that alone doesn’t make everything easier. Opportunities and trust are not always given equally. The pressure to prove ourselves is real, and I don’t want to dismiss that.

But despite the doubts and barriers, I remind myself that being other is not just a struggle—it is also a strength. It shapes the way I listen, the way I understand, the way I hold space for people who may not feel like they fully belong. And maybe, just maybe, my presence as a counsellor signals to others that they belong here too.

For anyone else navigating similar challenges—whether in counselling or another field—I hope you remember that your experiences, your identity, and your voice bring something valuable to the table. The work is not always easy, and the barriers are real, but our presence matters. And with time, space will open for us, not just because we have worked twice as hard, but because we deserve to be here.

References

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. (2025, February). Trainee counsellors and the challenges of diversity. Therapy Today.

Shukla, N. (2016). The good immigrant. Unbound.

Varaidzo. (2016). A guide to being Black. In N. Shukla (Ed.), The good immigrant (pp. 26-35). Unbound.